Crest Pro-Health products are supposed to ”give you a healthier, more beautiful smile,” according to the Web site, but one Michigan lawyer is anything but happy about his mouth after using the mouthwash. Mark Rossman of suburban Detroit is suing Procter & Gamble (PG), the maker of Crest Pro-Health mouthwash, which he claims caused his teeth to stain.

Rossman wants P&G to pay his dental bills to get the stains removed. ”I have a pretty good toothbrush” Rossman told The Associated Press. ”Nothing seems to work.” P&G s  pokeswoman Laura Brinker declined to comment on the lawsuit but said 99.9% of users have not complained. ”We stand behind our product,” she said. ”Tooth discoloration is a very complex matter and is influenced by many different things.”

Complicated enough not to make any sense: The P&G Web site says brown stains are actually a sign the mouthwash is working. A Web search turned up numerous complaints about the staining